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Everyday on my Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest accounts all I see are things about exercise.  I look at it and think, "that would be awesome if I could go running or lift weights".  My reality is that I am lucky if I can get out of bed and walk.  It is not that I do not wish to exercise like everyone else.  I would love to walk a fast pace and not feel like I am going to pass out from the dizziness.  

During this new turn of health,  I seek exercise in a different light. During the week it is completely exhausting to get ready for the day.  Everything is such a chore, including brushing my teeth. But I have a routine so I stick with it.  Pushing myself is something that I can control.

I like to call shower time the "warm-up" phase.  Blow-drying my hair is considered "toning".  I round brush my hair and that consists of a lot of arm strength especially when my hair does not dry very fast.    By the time I am done with the shower, changing clothes, brushing teeth, and drying the hair I am spent.  My exercise routine is complete.  That is correct, I did not mention make-up.  I do not go anywhere and standing there to put on make-up seems like an unnecessary routine to my daily "exercise".    I save the "getting myself presentable for people routine" for one day a week.  Sunday.  

Sunday is the only day of the week that I will try my absolute hardest to "exercise" and be presentable for my peers.  Why only Sunday?  I am a religious person.  Getting a spiritual exercise is what gives me hope each day. Church and living the gospel are a joy in my life.  It is a constant truth.  It brings light into my life when everything else is painful, hard, bedridden and lonely.  Because that day is so important to me I like to be the most presentable I can be.  So naturally that day requires adding make-up to the routine along with wearing jewelry.  Some weeks my health permits me from even going, and so the weeks I am able to attend, even if just barely, are treasured.  

So my exercise routine may not be traditional.  It is my hope that soon, the medication will start to work, and I will feel so much better.  I will be able to move and not be dizzy or tired.  The pain will subside enough that running will be of ease and the physical strength that was once there will be restored.  Living with chronic pain and an extremely rare auto-immune disease is not an easy task.  Some days are easier than others but mostly, the days are just plain miserable. My exercise routine gives me hope.  It pushes me to try everyday, and look forward to the best day of  the week with a glimmer of possible more days.   Each day I get through and complete my "Exercise" is  a day that I made it.  It brings me closer to the day that I will be well again and exercise will be just that.  EXERCISE.


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