Skip to main content

Exercise

Everyday on my Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest accounts all I see are things about exercise.  I look at it and think, "that would be awesome if I could go running or lift weights".  My reality is that I am lucky if I can get out of bed and walk.  It is not that I do not wish to exercise like everyone else.  I would love to walk a fast pace and not feel like I am going to pass out from the dizziness.  

During this new turn of health,  I seek exercise in a different light. During the week it is completely exhausting to get ready for the day.  Everything is such a chore, including brushing my teeth. But I have a routine so I stick with it.  Pushing myself is something that I can control.

I like to call shower time the "warm-up" phase.  Blow-drying my hair is considered "toning".  I round brush my hair and that consists of a lot of arm strength especially when my hair does not dry very fast.    By the time I am done with the shower, changing clothes, brushing teeth, and drying the hair I am spent.  My exercise routine is complete.  That is correct, I did not mention make-up.  I do not go anywhere and standing there to put on make-up seems like an unnecessary routine to my daily "exercise".    I save the "getting myself presentable for people routine" for one day a week.  Sunday.  

Sunday is the only day of the week that I will try my absolute hardest to "exercise" and be presentable for my peers.  Why only Sunday?  I am a religious person.  Getting a spiritual exercise is what gives me hope each day. Church and living the gospel are a joy in my life.  It is a constant truth.  It brings light into my life when everything else is painful, hard, bedridden and lonely.  Because that day is so important to me I like to be the most presentable I can be.  So naturally that day requires adding make-up to the routine along with wearing jewelry.  Some weeks my health permits me from even going, and so the weeks I am able to attend, even if just barely, are treasured.  

So my exercise routine may not be traditional.  It is my hope that soon, the medication will start to work, and I will feel so much better.  I will be able to move and not be dizzy or tired.  The pain will subside enough that running will be of ease and the physical strength that was once there will be restored.  Living with chronic pain and an extremely rare auto-immune disease is not an easy task.  Some days are easier than others but mostly, the days are just plain miserable. My exercise routine gives me hope.  It pushes me to try everyday, and look forward to the best day of  the week with a glimmer of possible more days.   Each day I get through and complete my "Exercise" is  a day that I made it.  It brings me closer to the day that I will be well again and exercise will be just that.  EXERCISE.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MIRACLES DO EXIST

Well now that the people who needed to know personally from me know the big miracle unfolding, I can tell the rest of the world.  This coming Monday morning I will be having an outpatient surgery on my left rib.  The 7th rib to be exact.  Here I will try to answer any questions that people might ask about it.  I am still in shock but feel very humbled by how everything went down. As we all know, last Wednesday I posted my pity post of frustration.  Nothing was going right at that point.  I just needed a day or two to vent, be sad, frustrated, and what not.  That evening I had gotten the CT Scan done.  I was told that the surgeon would call me with the results the next day. Let me remind you that I was fully prepared for the following:  The scan would not show anything, the next step would be to kill the nerve around the rib, that experiment would fail, and I would be left with nothing.  Even during the meeting with the surgeon, he said...
9 comments
Read more

Hello world, I'm still here thanks to the moments before I started to be sick.

Moving into my new place on campus.  SUU Over the past few weeks, I have spent my nights of no sleep watching an old TV show called "GREEK".  It's a show about sororities and fraternities in College.  Not all that great, but it got me thinking.  It even made me cry.  It was all because I was remembering my life before I got to this moment.  I miss it. And I miss the people who have moved on.   After High School, I went Southern Utah University.  It was amazing there.  I lived in a crappy, extremely old building on campus called Manzanita.  I lived with 4 other girls with 1 bathroom, no dishwasher, the whole building shared a small TV, and my first ever coin operated laundry experience.  I met the most wonderful people there.  It really was a glorious experience.  I dated a lot. It would annoy some of my roommates because I had a boyfriend at the time who was serving a mission. His name was Cameron and even thoug...
1 comment
Read more

Going back home

 As I look back at my life and think of what my plans were at age 19 the plan I am about to make never crossed my mind.  After months of debating it has been decided that I will be moving back home with my parents by the end of this month.  At 19 it did not occur to me that I would be so sick to the degree of the incapability of working, providing for myself, and having to move back home at age 29.  It is not an ideal situation.  Nothing about my life the past 10 months has been ideal.  Slowly I have been stripped of my independence. Ideally, I would not be sick, or if I still had to be I would at least be well enough to work and finish school and stay at my apartment on the third floor. Every day I tell myself "it could be worse" or that "one day I'll be well again".  I believe in those words.  It is what provides me hope.  However, hope does not change reality.  The reality is, I can no longer provide for myself.  I have extreme...
1 comment
Read more